The Heavy.

There’s so much weight these days.

On my shoulders.

Around my waist.

Within my arms.

I don’t even have the strength to reach out – it’s too heavy.

How could I reach out anyways? How do you reach for something when you don’t even know what it is, what it can do, or how it could help?

The heaviness weighs on my eyelids, casting them down like a curtain call on a class act.

The class act is waking up each day and just merely existing through it.

The play: life.

People talk about a heavy weight on their shoulders and how good it feels when that weight has finally been lifted off them, but nobody has talked about when the weight is your own head. Your own psyche. Your conceptualizations about the life you live, the society you were raised in, the people you’ve encountered… it all amounts to one heavy weight, directly on your shoulders… damn brain.

I suppose that’s in tandem with what everyone is referring to anyways when they speak of a weight being lifted. When we harbor these feelings of worry, grief, guilt, or shame, we feel the Heavy tremendously as it ruminates and runs in circles in our own mind. That is, these feelings are heavy because of the way we let them fester in our head – we torture ourselves by pondering thoughts that don’t even serve us any benefit. To finally be rid of any of these feelings – these thoughts, this torture – is to relieve your shoulders of the heavy weight that is your own psyche. And when thought of this way, the Heavy doesn’t seem as bad. Actually, one could find a way to transform the Heavy into elation just because the brain and its psyche are the most powerful things our souls have managed to possess in this lifetime.

But it’s hard to remember that when everything is heavy.

It’s hard to remind yourself of the strength of your brain – that you are strong enough to lift even the heaviest veils that have persisted to blind you of your truth, your light… After all, the brain is the single most powerful thing that keeps us down, keeping us heavy. Yet, it is simultaneously the most powerful thing that can lift us up. How odd, but how perfect. There truly are two sides to every coin.