Iris

They say the eyes are the window to the soul; I believe there is some truth to that. You may not be able to tell me what you see when you see these eyes, but when I see yours, I see hope.

I see patience.

I see tenderness.

I see love.

I see endless possibilities.

And truthfully, I nowadays see myself.

I remember getting lost in your eyes, having gotten close enough to you to see the entire universe within your iris. I saw the sun and the moon and the stars and entire galaxies all within your eyes. I had never seen that before, at least not in one spot, not in something as small as a pair of eyes.

I think that was the first time I actually felt the world’s own heart beat in sync with my own. It was the first time I felt the future be within arms reach. It was the first time I felt the seed of love sprout roots within my soul.

Now, I never see those eyes anymore, but I am blessed to remember what they look like. I am blessed to have laid eyes on such a sight because now, I see the world, I see the universe, I see everyone and everything… I was blind, but now I see. And though being blind made navigating this world so hard and so painful, it has honored me with a unique indebtedness to it, for I am now able to see life in a refreshing, vibrant way.

They say the eyes are the window to the soul, but they never specified whose soul. I was never prepared to find my own soul within the galaxy of your iris. But now that I say that, I realize how silly that is. Because it could’ve been anybody to have shown me my own soul within their eyes – it just happened to be you. If we are all truly just a reflection of one another, why wasn’t it someone else?

The universe operates in such a way that whenever someone, anyone, makes a decision, any decision, it sets a timeline in motion. A whole slew of events will line up to occur until someone, whether the same someone or someone else, makes a decision that isn’t aligned with the slew of events that just lined up. This sounds far-fetched, but considering the way decisions are made every second of every hour on any day at any time, the events are constantly reorganizing themselves according to the last decision made by a person.

But somehow, enough decisions were made in just the most impeccable order to align me to you. To align our eyes to gaze at each other when they did.

We both once made the decision to look upon each other, to look through the windows of each other’s souls. We both decided to catch each other’s gaze and rest there, amongst each other’s irises.

And I’m sorry that only one of us got to see the world, the galaxy, all of humanity, and the endless possibilities that love and a future with another being could possess. I’m sorry only I got to see this incredible view in your eyes.

I’m sorry my windows had drapes over them. I wasn’t yet comfortable letting people look into my home when just passing by. I didn’t want to let anybody see love, the future, themselves, opportunity, possibility, the sun, the moon, the stars, or the galaxies. I didn’t want people to see that in me, because I couldn’t see it in myself, and I didn’t know what they looked like in other people anyway… And I knew that once someone saw all these divine niceties that the universe has to offer, they would also see the pain, the suffering, the blindness, the sorrow, the confusion, the fright, the loneliness, and the rejection by two fathers that a little girl had to endure for a life time to bring her to this point in time today, right now.

It’s immeasurable what a decision can do to set the course for a whole slew of events.

But still, I continue to remember my decision to gaze upon your eyes and to see everything within your iris…

Photo credit: @vilmagjonzeneli on Instagram (http://instagram.com/vilmagjonzeneli)